As many of you have heard, comedian Daniel Tosh has been attacked in the media recently for making a rape joke. The short story is that a woman in the audience during a Tosh performance at a comedy club took offense to Tosh joking about rape and decided to verbally express her disapproval. In response, Tosh reportedly joked how it would be funny if this woman was raped by, like 5 guys, right now. Well, the offended heckler (yes, if you interrupt a comedian you are a heckler) took to the blogosphere with her outrage, sparking a shitstorm of outrage over a manufactured issue: can rape be funny? I say that this is a “manufactured issue” because the real issue is whether there are any subjects that a comedian should not touch under any circumstances. I say no, and shame on all of you who can’t take a joke.
Anyone who’s read John Gray’s Men Are From Mars, Women are from Venus knows that most of the time, when a woman shares her problems with her man, she doesn’t want his advice. She just wants to vent and have him listen. Conversely, when a man hears his woman’s problems, he instinctively want to help fix them, usually by offering her advice on what to do. I can say from personal experience that this is true. Usually, when this difference in gender communication habits is discussed, the author’s advice is for men to learn to shut up and just listen to women vent. I say this is bullshit.
Apparently the online dating experience has left many women with a bad taste in their mouths. At least, that’s what I gather from the surprising number of women who sound downright angry in their online dating profiles. While I can understand women wanting to find a man who isn’t a lying, cheating, lazy creep who’s only looking for a one night stand, angrily proclaiming this desire in your online dating profile seems counter-productive. Guys who are creeps will ignore your warnings, while nice guys are likely to be scared off by your hostility. From a good guy’s point of view, allow me to suggest that there are more subtle and positive ways to get your point across, ladies, without alienating the good guys.
Despite the fact that 50% or more of marriages end in divorce, men continue to suspend disbelief and think that somehow “my marriage will be different.” I can sympathize, as I was one of these poor bastards — I was married for 14 years. What follows are the reasons why men should not get married. I want to be clear that I am not opposed to monogamy. I think relationships are great. I just think that expecting your relationship to last a lifetime is unrealistic for the vast majority of people. So, if the odds are strongly against you spending the rest of your life with one person, why enter into a contract that will punish you financially should that relationship end?
A commonly repeated myth in the divorce community is that women suffer far worse financially than men after divorce. Often using outdated data or studies based on mathematical errors, you can still find so-called “experts” claiming that after divorce, women suffer a 45% decrease in their standard of living while men experience a 15% increase. Setting aside the leap in logic one would have to make to show how a man, who most often loses at least half of the marital assets, along with having to pay alimony and child support, could ever have an increase in standard of living post-divorce, this falsely but widely-reported reported disparity in financial well-being after divorce has been debunked by mensnewsdaily.com and, more recently, a Pew survey showing that women actually fare better than men after a divorce.
A recent poll of more than 1800 women ages 18 to 40 by Glamour magazine suggests something that most women probably already know — women instinctively judge each other pretty harshly when it comes to their weight. The study asked the female participants to imagine a woman they had never met and who was described solely as “overweight” or “thin”. Then, they gave the women a choice of two words, such as ambitious or lazy — plus the option to choose “neither” — to describe that imaginary woman. Significantly, the results of the study demonstrated negative views of both overweight and thin women, with each type receiving its own common criticisms.
If you are a woman with children braving the online dating world, you should obviously disclose the existence of your kids in your online dating profile — most sites have this question as a simple “yes/no” in the standard profile. Beyond that, what else should you say? From a guy’s point of view, I’d advise saying as little as possible. Include only the type of information which would affect your dating availability. Leave out the stuff you’d use to impress your lady friends. Remember that your dating profile is not your Facebook page. It’s not a diary or a family photo album. It’s your brief opportunity to make a first impression with a man for the purpose of starting a romantic relationship. There’s nothing romantic about your parenthood status (at least not to men).
I will admit from the start that, being a Gen X man, I am probably not the target audience of HBO’s new series, Girls. Regardless, the incessant hype leading up to the series had duped me into thinking that it would be a witty and insightful look into the lives of Gen Y women — something that anyone with a brain could like. I actually looked forward to its premier. After watching the first three episodes (I had allowed for the possibility that it would improve), however, I can only conclude that Lena Dunham, the show’s creator and star, is a witch who must be burned immediately to break the spell she has apparently cast over those who somehow have a positive opinion about this god-awful show.